Introducing the HAYS FOR SENATE BLOG STAFF

Please meet Larry Lillendecker III. We call him Trip for short. Trip has 2 years experience in the communications field having served as the public information officer for the Fans of Nine Inch Nails website.

Trip was responsible for the internet image campaign for several rock groups. He increased their web traffic over 20% in the time he worked for them.

Trip is known for his aggressive tactics which, in past campaigns, has left his targets in tears.

When asked how he felt about joining the HFS campaign he said by email, "dudes, this is so cool. This will be an easy campaign. What you have is an aggressive, forward thinking and brilliant forever leader of a town of nearly 60 thousand people vs. a school marm of an unidentifiable mass of nothingness who has been sucking away government dollars for years. It's a no-brainer."

Wow! We can hardly wait. Lillendecker actually interned with Dick Morris. Trip should be here in North Little Rock within a week or two he said. Look for him to be hanging around in the Argenta area gathering up a volunteer crew of Hays Supporters.

We will be introducing more of our staffers to you soon. Thanks for visiting!!! REMEMBER, HAYS FOR SENATE. LET'S SHARE HIS BRILLIANCE WITH THE WORLD!!!

ANOTHER EXAMPLE OF THE MAYOR'S DECISION MAKING SKILL

One of the stories that our correspondent in city hall let us know about THE MAYOR'S astute decision making skill has to do with a decision he had to make on the spur of the moment. This decision probably saved the city thousands of dollars.

Here's the story. THE MAYOR had been wooing a very important city to become our sister city in the United Kingdom. He settled upon a community that is known for producing the primo go-karts used at amusement parks across the world. These go-karts are hybrids and that fits very nicely with the new green initiative of the city. THE MAYOR, being the visionary that he is, imagined a huge go-kart track near the RV park that would provide go-kart rentals for people wanting to ride the river trail. What better way to save money than go directly to the factory and strike a deal. It was quite a smashingly brilliant idea.

When THE MAYOR arrived in the English city via private jet, he immediately spotted a problem and he knew he could save lots of money for his constituents back home.

You see, the name of the community is:

Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch, Wales.

You will note in the the photo of the test sign THE MAYOR had made by his sign department, they couldn't fit all the letters of the city, much less his name.

THE MAYOR knew immediately that the name would never fit on any of the sister city signs on the Broadway Bridge. This would create a need for special sized signs, which are very expensive. So he got on the jet and proceeded directly to the second possible city on the list.

Middelfart, Denmark was next on the list. They also are known for a go-kart they make that is not quite the stunner as the one from Wales, nor are they hybrids, but it worked out just fine since go-karts get about 80 miles to the gallon anyways. We should be seeing the Middelfart Flyer Go-Karts zipping along the Isabella Jo trail shortly!

This is just another reason a man with this sort of leadership ability needs to be up in D.C.

Satire

ANOTHER EXAMPLE OF BRILLIANT LEADERSHIP

THIS IS VERY EXCITING. My neighbor's brother's cousin's wife's mother's friend works at the city. I am very jealous because she is so close to the heartbeat of our great community. Day in and day out she gets to be so close to THE MAYOR that it must be almost overwhelming to her.

She has become one of THE MAYOR'S biggest cheerleaders and keeps us filled in on all of the action and exciting things happening because of THE MAYOR'S blindingly brilliant gung-ho leadership style.

While a lot of people in our city and in Little Rock have been bashing THE MAYOR because the Salty Parrot suffered a seeming unfortunate breech of its hull, THE MAYOR has been quietly pursuing a lead that was brought to him by his special police officer who is THE MAYOR'S personal bodyguard.

This lead proved most fortuitous because it means that the federal government will probably have to pay for all salvage costs for the Parrot.

Our city hall correspondent says it seems there was some sort of a threat that was picked up by a confidential informant at Creegen's the other night. There had been several unsavory characters overheard talking of a plan to sink the barge to create a diversion. The diversion was needed to reduce the police and street department and submarine security guard presence near the freeway bridge.

While everyone would be worrying about the sinking of a favorite watering hole for city employees, this small cell of domestic terrorists were apparently burying a cache of weapons and other survival gear to be used in a later assault on city hall and the street department headquarters. This burial was to be occurring somewhere between the bicycle rental place and the porta potties in the RV park. The exact location is a double top secret though. We understand national and Argenta security very well at the Hays for Senate HQ.

Thanks to THE MAYOR's vigilance and patriotic belief system instilled in him from his days in JROTC, he quickly dispatched a squad of officers under Chief Danny Bradley's personal command. This special elite squad known among law enforcement circles as Danny's Rolling Thunderous Wildcats blanketed that area along the river like bumps on a pickle and quietly took the three suspects into custody. Even though THE MAYOR was out of town on a junket to the twelve NLR sister city sites around the world, he was in constant contact with Joe Smith by text message because apparently his cell phone doesn't work in one of our sister cities, Haskovo, Bulgaria where THE MAYOR was looking into the possibility of an old Bulgarian war boat for the NLR Maritime Center.

Since it was a terrorist act, the three 18 year old suspects of questionable heritage were immediately taken to the NLR airport where an awaiting Cessna aircraft piloted by one of THE MAYOR'S special team of pilots --who pose as his rich developers and friends -- whisked the suspects to Cuba.

Our friend also said that she knows for a fact that THE MAYOR and none other than Hillary Clinton herself had recently met to discuss THE MAYOR'S good deeds in the name of national security and to give him a briefing on State Department matters concerning Argenta and the Riverfront Park area. This secret meeting was nearly discovered when local political activist Jim Ard happened by to check the locks of city hall's doors. Ard volunteers as a security guard for the city in his spare time.

This is why we must convince THE MAYOR that he must run for Senate. Even the people from Warshington consult with him almost daily!!! He is so smart. I heard he is really considering it and that he loves the fact that we have started this blog to counteract all the negative stuff they say on other blogs. Those bloggers and blowhards just don't know our BFF THE MAYOR like we do.

(You must visit here often because our city hall friend is bringing us some memos she has collected over the years that THE MAYOR has been sending out. She assures me that they will clearly show just how brilliant THE MAYOR is and will prove once and for all what a great visionary person he is. I plan on posting them, or at least the portions that are top-secret. These will be very very exciting and inspiring!!!!!!! )

SATIRE

God I love PHH- He Tells it Like it Is--

Here is a perfect example of why Hays needs to be up there in Warshington---  This came from the article in today's Democrat-Gazette.  If you're a subscriber you can view all of it online at www.arkansasonline.com  :

(More) The vessels are part of NorthLittle Rock’s North Shore Maritime Center, which also includes the Arkansas Inland Maritime Museum and USS Razorback submarine.

The Parrot closes during colder months but had been scheduled to reopen in mid-April. Odell and others had been stocking it for the approaching season. When he left at 10:30 p.m. Wednesday night, Odell said, “everything seemed fine.”

North Little Rock Mayor Patrick Hays said officials will have to wait until the barge is lifted out of the water to find out what caused it to sink.

“The only thing we can think is that there was a significant failure of the hull or somehow a water pipe busted or got turned on and the pumps in there didn’t work,” Hays said. “It’s sort of baffling, to be honest, as to how she could sink that fast.”

As the Parrot sank, the cables mooring it to the Patriot came loose, but Odell said the Patriot was not in any danger. Thursdaymorning, North Little Rock employees were working to secure the Parrot to the shore.

Hays said the city was exploring whether an area company would be able to hoist the barge out of the water, but Odell saida barge would likely have to be called in from the Mississippi River, which would take at least three weeks.

He said he was hoping the Parrot could be repaired before its season ends in October. Arkansas Queen cruises will not be affected, he said.

Odell said the repairs will likely cost well over $100,000. City officials said the cost will be covered by insurance, which has a $5,000 deductible and $500,000 limit.

Although the city owns thevessels, the riverboat company has spent more than $300,000 renovating the Parrot and Patriot since it began leasing them in 2005, Odell said.  (More)

Special thanks to Argenta News for providing this radio jingle about the new Rusty Parrot Bar.

Blanche BEWARE

Senator Lincoln:

Beware and be afraid.  The admiral is going to be drafted to mount a campaign to save our nation! 

Consider it a call to arms if you please.  

PHH is going to be nipping at your heels like the little pit bull he has outlawed in his city. (Just the first of many visionary things he has done, thank you very much!).  

Signed:

PHH Supporter in Chief