Uh-Oh

We may have to abandon our wonderful and brilliant leader's bid for senate.  Word is his name is in the top tier of candidates to replace SCOTUS retiring justice Souter.  Dang, the Warshington big shots just seem to have their eye on our glorious and so brilliant it hurts mayor.

Our Security and Entertainment Director for the HFSC

The Hays for Senate Committee (HFSC) would like to introduce our newest team member. Meet Herman Youngmorpher. His training all his life has prepared him to serve in the very important role of managing the protection detail for the wonderful and brilliant current mayor soon to be senator, Patrick H. Hays. Herman will also be coordinating and providing the music for Mayor Brilliant's campaign. Youngmorpher used to play in one of the bands that Trip (see earlier post) was involved with.

When asked about his plans for his job, Youngmorpher just smiled and said, "wait and see." We can hardly wait until this campaign kicks in for real.

Please email us at HaysForSenate@gmail.com if you would like to join our team. We are looking for all sorts of volunteers.

Dumpster Brilliance from our Brilliant Mayor

NLR voids law on hiding trash bins

Alderman:‘We made a mistake’; most businesses refused to comply

(The red writing belongs to the Hays For Senate Committee)

By Jake Sandlin

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

LITTLE ROCK — North Little Rock aldermen admitted making a mistake in forcing businesses to screen their large garbage bins and voted Monday night to repeal the city law that had largely been ignored.

After listening for an hour to several irate business owners, aldermen voted 7-0, with one abstention, to repeal the city’s “Dumpster law.” About 120 people packed the council chambers for the meeting.

The requirement already had cost a handful of businesses thousands of dollars to meet, while the vast majority of businesses in the city refused to comply. Enough support gathered after the law went into effect Jan. 1 to lead a repeal effort.

“We made a mistake,” said Alderman Cary Gaines, who sponsored the original legislation last year and the repeal approved Monday. “I think it’s time to change it and try to repeal it.”

The fight could continue. Mayor Patrick Hays, who has veto authority, said last week that he wouldn’t support a total repeal of the law, only modifications to it. Hays said Monday night that he would not go against the near-unanimous vote of the City Council. God he is just so brilliant and decisive.

Alderman Charlie Hight passed on the vote. A package of amendments Hight offered failed to obtain a second from other aldermen.

Early in the meeting, Gaines said he would also offer an amendment to “grandfather in” existing garbage bins because he didn’t believe a full repeal would pass. As momentum grew from speakers at a public hearing during the meeting, the repeal gained favor and Gaines didn’t request an amendment.

Rob Callahan, a real estate company owner, told the aldermen, “There is no support at all” for the screening requirement.

“We keep moving forward with ways to tweak it just so somebody might dislike it a little less,” Callahan said, speaking about the possible amendments. “The only logical answer is to repeal this.”

The law required existing garbage bins to be screened so that they and any trash around them cannot be seen from a city street or a dwelling. New businesses would have had to meet stricter requirements regulating location and placement of garbage bins.

An amendment passed in November to exempt industrial areas from the new law was also repealed by Monday’s vote.

The council issued a moratorium on enforcement of the law in February, at Hays’ urging, once city officials realized there were too many noncomplying businesses to ticket.

The city didn’t do much better following its own rule, failing to screen a number of garbage bins used on city properties. Hays said Monday the city would follow whatever the City Council decreed. Why doesn't everyone just understand that the brilliant mayor is the law here and it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks or does? It's his way or the hi-way and that is the way it must be because he is so brilliant. We did pick up a rumor that Nobel Prize talk is begin to swirl around his name.

The City Council approved the law in January 2008 but gave almost a year for businesses to comply. However, many business owners complained that the requirement could cost $2,000 or more in some cases for each trash bin.

A small percentage of the city’s approximately 3,500 businesses complied, according to a city Code Enforcement estimates based on a survey of one of the city’s four wards in February. Gaines said that after talking with business owners, he believed the number of businesses in compliance was far less than that.

“This was simply a bad piece of legislation,” Alderman Murry Witcher said before the vote. “The ramifications were something we didn’t talk about or consider. We did a disservice to our business community.

“But, we do need some compliance,” he added. “We need to come back after some thought and establish some rules for our community.”

Thirteen speakers spoke against the law, with several chastising the city for what some said hit while the nation is in a recession. Three times Hays asked the crowd to quiet down after speakers were applauded. People had better start paying attention to exactly what this brilliant man says. He'll go off on their asses if they ain't careful. And he will soon have a security man with him at all times. HFSC

“I’m looking at $21,000, because I’ve got seven Dumpsters,” said Dennis Toland, an apartment complex owner. “We’re just hanging on in hard, hard economic times.”

Another business owner said $3,000 would be “a month’s profit” in his business, while another said he had spent more than $2,900 to screen his garbage bin that he was told still wasn’t done properly.

Speaking for many of his members, North Little Rock Chamber of Commerce President Terry Hartwick asked the council to repeal the law, calling it an action “against our businesses right now.” We should thank our stars this Hartwick guy couldn't keep it in his pants twenty years ago and was chasing that little cheerleader all over the place. If it hadn't been for that, our brilliant and unbelievably beautiful PHH might not have become the forever mayor in my beloved birthplace.

Wayne Rathbun of Waste Management of Arkansas, which picks up businesses’ garbage bins, said the company had lost six customers this year because of the new city law. The city’s beautification effort had wrongly caused hardship to many businesses, including his company, he said. My grandaughter loves the green recycle bins that we are paying for every month. She uses it for her cat's litter box.

“I’m very disappointed in my hometown because my business has been attacked,” Rathbun said. “You cannot legislate taste.” Mr. Rathbun, you can't have back your campaign contributions to the mayor and Joe Smith just because of this. That would make you an indian-giver.

After the vote, Hays thanked the crowd, but also offered a civics lesson. And if they are wise, they will listen to every damn word this brilliant politician and politically brilliant individual utters. Oh my god, he is so smart and such a good orator and such a handsome young thing too.

“If we had had this kind of input a year ago,” Hays said, “I don’t think we all would be sitting here now.” Oh my god. This was such a dramatic moment for me. When this brilliant man opens his mouth and talks, I just can barely contain my giddiness. I just can't wait until he knocks ole Blank Lincoln off her high horse.

Arkansas, Pages 7, 9 on 04/14/2009

The Hays For Senate Committee had our first meeting last night

The HFSC (Hays for Senate Committee) met for our organizational meeting last night at the Wyndham Hotel. That's me in the center and my son. We were relaxing after the intense meeting we held discussing strategy for putting our hero, the Honorable Mayor Patrick Henry Hays, in Warshington where he belongs. To join up in the movement, email me at HaysForSenate@gmail.com! See you soon. Come back often for scheduleing.

Just Another Example of THE MAYOR'S Brilliance

OTUS THE HEAD CAT: City readies unmanned plane to patrol Burns Park airspace

By Michael Storey

Saturday, April 18, 2009

LITTLE ROCK — Dear Otus,

As a retired Navy flier, I was fascinated by the story in the paper last week about North Little Rock Police Department’s new $78,000 remote-controlled helicopter. I know I’ll sleep better at night knowing that bird is patrolling the skies.

But I thought I read where Mayor Hays had plans to purchase a surplus unmanned aerial vehicle (UAV) to patrol city parks. Whatever became of that?

- Cmdr. Pete Mitchell USN (Ret.), North Little RockDear Pete,

You remember correctly. North Little Rock bought the surplus Predator in January from the 432nd Air Expeditionary Wing at Creech Air Force Base in Nevada. It was a steal at only $9.52 million since the cost per unit (CPU) for a new Predator system runs about $30 million.

But wait, there’s more.

The Air Force includes a computer-packed Ground Control Station Vehicle (GCSV), which is a nicely tricked-out T-series GMC van with desert camo, four state-of-the-art Saitek X52 flight control system joysticks and around the clock tech support from the manufacturer, General Atomics Aeronautical Systems.

The city is saved big bucks by using the C-band line-ofsight data link and not having to fund the PPSL (Predator Primary Satellite Link). Also, the city won’t require the two AGM-114 Hellfire missiles that usually come with the aircraft. They cost $68,000 apiece.

Mayor Hays thought the missiles would be overkill for Burns Park patrol, even with unruly soccer mobs.

For those who may believe such an aircraft is a frivolous expense in these tough economic times, the mayor has asked them to consider that had the Predator been patrolling high above Riverfront Park during the dark early hours of March 26 when the Salty Parrot was sunk by unknown miscreants (he suspects saboteurs from Little Rock’s River Market District), the city would not be out the $2,487 it’s costing to refloat and repair the historic party bargeand karaoke bar.

But wait, there’s more.

As an added economic bonus, North Little Rock’s Predator system will employ local youth as Parks & Recreation personnel. It was determined that the only qualified civilian operators of the aircraft were members of the North Little Rock High School West Campus Video Gamer Club, the Charging Wildcat Avatars.

Each club member is proficient in Microsoft FlightSim X or FS2004, with merit badges in the FSX UAV Predator Add-on ($34.95).

Initially, the 17 juniors, 11 seniors and nine sophomores will be hired by the city to man the Predator from a “command bunker” (a small unused hangar) at North Little Rock Airport. They are currently in training, flying the Predator over Camp Robinson after school and on weekends and hoping to be ready for the big unveiling May 22 during Riverfest 2009.

The plan is for the Predator to fly low upriver during the Willie Nelson concert. Willie will coordinate by singing his hit song “Angel Flying Too Close to the Ground” from 1980’s Honeysuckle Rose. Bring your camera.

The Predator, which has been christened the Savannah Lou II, is not yet on public display, but was seen by hundreds of thousands when it appeared at Little Rock Air Force Base during the open house last October. Mayor Hays noticed the small “For Sale” sign on the craft and at first thought it was a joke.

Not so. It turns out that this veteran UAV (serial No. 94-555) entered service in 1995 and saw action in Operation Nomad Vigil in Bosnia and Serbia.

The Predator comes with a Multi-spectral Targeting System, a color nose camera, a variableaperture TV camera for daytime, and a variable aperture infrared camera for low light/night.

There is also a digitally enhanced catadioptric telephoto lens that can read the Titleist name on a golf ball at 1,500 feet and a 600 million candlepower spotlight that could light up Dickey-Stephens Park enough to allow them to play ball.

For those concerned about privacy, the cameras will only be looking for scofflaws. Otherwise, the Predator, which can loiter for 11 hours on five gallons of ethanol, will cruise at 2,500 feet. At that height, you won’t even be able to hear the engine.

Until next time, Kalaka reminds you that the mayor plans to use the plane to ensure the fun remains in Funland.

The Sister Cities

THE MAYOR is so smart it hurts my head to even think about how lucky we are to have him at the helm of our lovely burg. He's just the most insightful and diplomatic person I've ever been around. And what a great orator!!! My God, can that man make a good speech. He once made me cry when he was waxing so eloquently about one of his grandchildren and how he helped change their diapers! Now let me hear Mark Stodola talk about that.

Below are all of the sister cities NLR has. Can't you just see THE MAYOR's thinking on this? He gets to travel to many exciting places as our emissary to their countries.

HAYS FOR SENATE. Put Blanche in her rightful place. In a rocking chair on her porch!



Haskovo, Bulgaria

Klang, Malaysia

Trondheim, Norway

Yerevan, Armenia

Tsetserleg, Mongolia

Kafountine, Senegal

Villeta, Paraguay

Sisimiut, Greenland

Yoboki, Djibouti

Novokuznetsk, Russia

Blowhard, Australia

Dildo, Canada

Introducing the HAYS FOR SENATE BLOG STAFF

Please meet Larry Lillendecker III. We call him Trip for short. Trip has 2 years experience in the communications field having served as the public information officer for the Fans of Nine Inch Nails website.

Trip was responsible for the internet image campaign for several rock groups. He increased their web traffic over 20% in the time he worked for them.

Trip is known for his aggressive tactics which, in past campaigns, has left his targets in tears.

When asked how he felt about joining the HFS campaign he said by email, "dudes, this is so cool. This will be an easy campaign. What you have is an aggressive, forward thinking and brilliant forever leader of a town of nearly 60 thousand people vs. a school marm of an unidentifiable mass of nothingness who has been sucking away government dollars for years. It's a no-brainer."

Wow! We can hardly wait. Lillendecker actually interned with Dick Morris. Trip should be here in North Little Rock within a week or two he said. Look for him to be hanging around in the Argenta area gathering up a volunteer crew of Hays Supporters.

We will be introducing more of our staffers to you soon. Thanks for visiting!!! REMEMBER, HAYS FOR SENATE. LET'S SHARE HIS BRILLIANCE WITH THE WORLD!!!

ANOTHER EXAMPLE OF THE MAYOR'S DECISION MAKING SKILL

One of the stories that our correspondent in city hall let us know about THE MAYOR'S astute decision making skill has to do with a decision he had to make on the spur of the moment. This decision probably saved the city thousands of dollars.

Here's the story. THE MAYOR had been wooing a very important city to become our sister city in the United Kingdom. He settled upon a community that is known for producing the primo go-karts used at amusement parks across the world. These go-karts are hybrids and that fits very nicely with the new green initiative of the city. THE MAYOR, being the visionary that he is, imagined a huge go-kart track near the RV park that would provide go-kart rentals for people wanting to ride the river trail. What better way to save money than go directly to the factory and strike a deal. It was quite a smashingly brilliant idea.

When THE MAYOR arrived in the English city via private jet, he immediately spotted a problem and he knew he could save lots of money for his constituents back home.

You see, the name of the community is:

Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch, Wales.

You will note in the the photo of the test sign THE MAYOR had made by his sign department, they couldn't fit all the letters of the city, much less his name.

THE MAYOR knew immediately that the name would never fit on any of the sister city signs on the Broadway Bridge. This would create a need for special sized signs, which are very expensive. So he got on the jet and proceeded directly to the second possible city on the list.

Middelfart, Denmark was next on the list. They also are known for a go-kart they make that is not quite the stunner as the one from Wales, nor are they hybrids, but it worked out just fine since go-karts get about 80 miles to the gallon anyways. We should be seeing the Middelfart Flyer Go-Karts zipping along the Isabella Jo trail shortly!

This is just another reason a man with this sort of leadership ability needs to be up in D.C.

Satire

ANOTHER EXAMPLE OF BRILLIANT LEADERSHIP

THIS IS VERY EXCITING. My neighbor's brother's cousin's wife's mother's friend works at the city. I am very jealous because she is so close to the heartbeat of our great community. Day in and day out she gets to be so close to THE MAYOR that it must be almost overwhelming to her.

She has become one of THE MAYOR'S biggest cheerleaders and keeps us filled in on all of the action and exciting things happening because of THE MAYOR'S blindingly brilliant gung-ho leadership style.

While a lot of people in our city and in Little Rock have been bashing THE MAYOR because the Salty Parrot suffered a seeming unfortunate breech of its hull, THE MAYOR has been quietly pursuing a lead that was brought to him by his special police officer who is THE MAYOR'S personal bodyguard.

This lead proved most fortuitous because it means that the federal government will probably have to pay for all salvage costs for the Parrot.

Our city hall correspondent says it seems there was some sort of a threat that was picked up by a confidential informant at Creegen's the other night. There had been several unsavory characters overheard talking of a plan to sink the barge to create a diversion. The diversion was needed to reduce the police and street department and submarine security guard presence near the freeway bridge.

While everyone would be worrying about the sinking of a favorite watering hole for city employees, this small cell of domestic terrorists were apparently burying a cache of weapons and other survival gear to be used in a later assault on city hall and the street department headquarters. This burial was to be occurring somewhere between the bicycle rental place and the porta potties in the RV park. The exact location is a double top secret though. We understand national and Argenta security very well at the Hays for Senate HQ.

Thanks to THE MAYOR's vigilance and patriotic belief system instilled in him from his days in JROTC, he quickly dispatched a squad of officers under Chief Danny Bradley's personal command. This special elite squad known among law enforcement circles as Danny's Rolling Thunderous Wildcats blanketed that area along the river like bumps on a pickle and quietly took the three suspects into custody. Even though THE MAYOR was out of town on a junket to the twelve NLR sister city sites around the world, he was in constant contact with Joe Smith by text message because apparently his cell phone doesn't work in one of our sister cities, Haskovo, Bulgaria where THE MAYOR was looking into the possibility of an old Bulgarian war boat for the NLR Maritime Center.

Since it was a terrorist act, the three 18 year old suspects of questionable heritage were immediately taken to the NLR airport where an awaiting Cessna aircraft piloted by one of THE MAYOR'S special team of pilots --who pose as his rich developers and friends -- whisked the suspects to Cuba.

Our friend also said that she knows for a fact that THE MAYOR and none other than Hillary Clinton herself had recently met to discuss THE MAYOR'S good deeds in the name of national security and to give him a briefing on State Department matters concerning Argenta and the Riverfront Park area. This secret meeting was nearly discovered when local political activist Jim Ard happened by to check the locks of city hall's doors. Ard volunteers as a security guard for the city in his spare time.

This is why we must convince THE MAYOR that he must run for Senate. Even the people from Warshington consult with him almost daily!!! He is so smart. I heard he is really considering it and that he loves the fact that we have started this blog to counteract all the negative stuff they say on other blogs. Those bloggers and blowhards just don't know our BFF THE MAYOR like we do.

(You must visit here often because our city hall friend is bringing us some memos she has collected over the years that THE MAYOR has been sending out. She assures me that they will clearly show just how brilliant THE MAYOR is and will prove once and for all what a great visionary person he is. I plan on posting them, or at least the portions that are top-secret. These will be very very exciting and inspiring!!!!!!! )

SATIRE

God I love PHH- He Tells it Like it Is--

Here is a perfect example of why Hays needs to be up there in Warshington---  This came from the article in today's Democrat-Gazette.  If you're a subscriber you can view all of it online at www.arkansasonline.com  :

(More) The vessels are part of NorthLittle Rock’s North Shore Maritime Center, which also includes the Arkansas Inland Maritime Museum and USS Razorback submarine.

The Parrot closes during colder months but had been scheduled to reopen in mid-April. Odell and others had been stocking it for the approaching season. When he left at 10:30 p.m. Wednesday night, Odell said, “everything seemed fine.”

North Little Rock Mayor Patrick Hays said officials will have to wait until the barge is lifted out of the water to find out what caused it to sink.

“The only thing we can think is that there was a significant failure of the hull or somehow a water pipe busted or got turned on and the pumps in there didn’t work,” Hays said. “It’s sort of baffling, to be honest, as to how she could sink that fast.”

As the Parrot sank, the cables mooring it to the Patriot came loose, but Odell said the Patriot was not in any danger. Thursdaymorning, North Little Rock employees were working to secure the Parrot to the shore.

Hays said the city was exploring whether an area company would be able to hoist the barge out of the water, but Odell saida barge would likely have to be called in from the Mississippi River, which would take at least three weeks.

He said he was hoping the Parrot could be repaired before its season ends in October. Arkansas Queen cruises will not be affected, he said.

Odell said the repairs will likely cost well over $100,000. City officials said the cost will be covered by insurance, which has a $5,000 deductible and $500,000 limit.

Although the city owns thevessels, the riverboat company has spent more than $300,000 renovating the Parrot and Patriot since it began leasing them in 2005, Odell said.  (More)

Special thanks to Argenta News for providing this radio jingle about the new Rusty Parrot Bar.

Blanche BEWARE

Senator Lincoln:

Beware and be afraid.  The admiral is going to be drafted to mount a campaign to save our nation! 

Consider it a call to arms if you please.  

PHH is going to be nipping at your heels like the little pit bull he has outlawed in his city. (Just the first of many visionary things he has done, thank you very much!).  

Signed:

PHH Supporter in Chief